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ok the words that you're about to read are sacred and confidental...if you can't keep the shit to yourself then don't read or comment...thanks and come again.
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Sep. 18th, 2007 @ 10:37 pm wanna know something crazy?
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Mood: blahblah
i actually miss tia. as much as i cussed her out, yelled at her, and was upset at her. i miss the times we spent together. yea the last 2 years were stressful but we did have fun in between. we had great convo's, smoked great green, and loved each other unlike any other person could. i had a dream about her last night and she's been on my mind off and on all day. i sent her a text and told her i missed her, but i know she won't respond. oh well i just wanted her to know. sucks that 2 years had to be thrown away like it was. ugh...i just hate that she couldn't give me the space i needed to do what i needed to do. damn...
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Sep. 12th, 2007 @ 01:26 pm my apology
Current Mood: goodgood
"Growth,
I released my grief
it was a heavy load
survived this sleep
and now I’m letting go
waking up and living up
to what I had proposed
a woman now,
I loved the girl I used to be
every step she took
was reaching out to me
every breath is blessed,
responsibility
I made it baby" floetry...my apology.

i know i've hurt someone very special to me. she was my life, my heart, my everything. she loved me inspite of who i thought i was. she took care of me when i was emotionally drained and scared of life. thank you for allowing me to cry on your shoulder and being a friend. i can't erase the hurt of the past, i can only make sure it doesn't happen again. at this point in my life i have to let you go in order not to hurt you anymore. you've had your season in my life but i must finish this race elsewhere. go...soar...fly...cry...smile that beautiful smile. remember to be honest to yourself, for this is the only life we get. make it count;) i'm done. i've released you out of my life. thank you.
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Sep. 5th, 2007 @ 06:26 pm horoscope
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
"You may not have the luxury of being able to daydream as much as you wish today. In fact, you might not be able to find time to indulge your fantasies, as circumstances require you to deal with an emotional issue that has been brewing for weeks. Take responsibility now before the situation becomes even more unmanageable"...myspace horoscope.

"An upcoming family obligation might seem like it will be a tedious experience, but you should keep an open mind. Once you get into it, you'll find more than a few new entertaining angles. People you thought you knew inside and out have a few new tricks up their sleeve, and they're going to let you see a whole new side of them. Take a cue from these folks and get ready to let down a few of your own walls. You've got some new stuff to show them, too"..yahoo horoscope.

i guess the situation w/ 'her' was bound to happen one way or another.
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Apr. 11th, 2007 @ 04:11 pm ppl r stupid...
Current Mood: sicksick
i'm so done w/ ppl. i really am. i'm done making new friends. i'm done trying to salvage the old friends that aren't shit and don't mean shit to me. i'm done w/ it all. if tia breaks up w/ me for cheating i won't date another woman until i turn 25. and i will NEVER date another man. men are shitless and i hate them. i really do. i love a few good men, but i'm not romantically involoved w/ them. i feel like shit and some ppl just don't seem to care at this point. my own mother is saying stupid shit that i can't believe is coming out of her mouth. i mean what is the world coming to? i'm sick as hell, its raining outside, its cold, and i can't eat. what a great way to live. but on the up side i love my life:)

until next time...
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Apr. 1st, 2007 @ 11:53 am friendship. who needs it?
Current Location: my bedroom...
Current Music: gospel:) its sunday
so dwight (my old roommate) and i got in a little cat fight, thursday march 22 (or so). yes, i said cat fight bc he's such a woman and he doesn't even know it. so last week he texts me about this random girl he's messing w/, i get tired of that shit from guys and all they want to talk about is pussy. so i texted him back and told him i really didn't care. do you know that negro had the nerve to call me rude for being truthful!! so anyway...sunday, 3/25 i called him bc his old high school won state, of course he didn't answer the phone. i didn't talk to him at all last week. then i saw him online briefly last night while i was checking my email. that SOB IMs me and of course i don't want to talk bc i'm still hurt by his rude comment. i told him to let me be pissed and i would contact him when i got done being mad.

was that mean of me?

no need to make him wait, while i have an attitude, he can live his life and i'll call him in a few days like i normally would. he had the nerve to tell me not to bother to contact him, so i responded w/..."damn you couldn't even put your pride aside and let me be mad?" and logged off. fuck him!

that BITCH, yes he's a male bitch bc only bitches play games like he did... that BITCH took me off his myspace friend list. was it really that deep? i didn't think so, but men are so sensitive and he's a leo which increases his level of sensitivity! *sigh*

i can't believe its been one of those weeks w/ friendships i thought were ok. oh well. i've got my top friends and that's all i care about. everyone else is mediocre (no offense to my online friends, you all mean something totally difft to me).

until next time...
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Mar. 26th, 2007 @ 01:14 pm wow....
i finally got sex how i wanted and need it!!! i fall in love w/ my gf over again everyday she surprises me...wow is all i can say. wow.
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Feb. 26th, 2007 @ 03:35 pm *sigh*
Current Location: work, work, work...
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
last week and the week prior, so basically the last two weeks have been hard for me. i've cut myself, thrown things, and cried all in the same breathe. but i'm ok, i'm getting myself back together, my meds got changed and i'm very optimitic about my future. amsterdam is in less than 2 weeks and damien marley is coming to town at the end of march, and i'm super excited about that.

keep me in your thoughts....

until next time...
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Dec. 11th, 2006 @ 12:56 pm i'm in a mood...
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
probably because of PMS but i hate blaming my feelings on something or someone else, there mine. so i dunno what's going on. i think last night hunger and finals hit me all at once and i cried. i'm so over this school thing.

until next time...
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Nov. 20th, 2006 @ 01:26 pm why i go to work...
Current Location: main library @ IU
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
so this morning i hadn't even been on the clock five minutes when a korean woman come to ask a question. i was coo with that because i'm always eager to help another minority. she asked me if i am a fluent english speaker and of course i am. she wanted me to proof read something for her and i was fine with that. so i read the paper made corrections and she was forever grateful. it was a note to a professor and she wanted her english to be readible and understood. after i was done the look on her face was so content, that's why i come to work.

until next time.
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Jul. 15th, 2006 @ 09:03 am quiz me bitch...
1. Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
my book of bible promises (its my moms)- the spirit itself beareth wiyness with our...
2. Stretch out your left arm as far as you can. What can you touch?
the wall

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
BET-late night videos

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
10:00am
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:05am
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
tia washing her face in the bathroom and the cats playing

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
about 7 hours ago, i was taking desi to her cousin's house

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
my journal

9. What are you wearing?
a razor back shirt, with some blue shorts

10. Did you dream last night?
of course, i always dream, i'm a pisces

11. When did you last laugh?
um....sometime yesterday @ desi

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
my mom's appreciation awards

13. Seen anything weird lately?
um...yea i saw a pic of these two little boys who had drenched themselves in white paint...

14. What do you think of this quiz?
interesting

15. What is the last film you saw?
16 blocks w/ bruce willis and mos def

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
a car, my mom a house in atlanta, i would pay my loans off, and invest the rest

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
i have been hospitalized in the crazy ward before

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
world hunger:( save the babies man...

19. Do you like to dance?
yea when no one is looking

20. George Bush:
is an ass hole, but can be because he's GW

21. Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you call her?
ZOe francis payton

22. Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you call him?
christian alexander...i'm not sure about the boy names

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
hell yea, just for the experience

24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
damn, i've had to save your ass just to many times now get in here!!!

25. 3 people who you want to fill this quiz out next.
i'm not sure my friends list is short...
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